D8 PROFILE: The Greek God (GG) from Chicagoland S1, E112 & 113

D8 PROFILE: The Greek God (GG) from Chicagoland S1, E112 & 113

S1, E112 https://anchor.fm/dickmatized-sex-mems/episodes/The-Greek-God-from-Chicagoland-pt–1-egaohj

S1, E113 https://anchor.fm/dickmatized-sex-mems/episodes/The-Greek-God-from-Chicagoland-pt–2-egbl06

By DESIRaE M. wRIGHT

Age: 43

Height: 6’1

DICK Size: 8”

Body Type: Average

Exercise: Baggage Tossing

Education: MBA (Master’s Business Administration)

Job: Airline Baggage/Grounds Attendant

Race/Ethnicity: Greek/American

Politics: Republican

Religion: Greek Orthodox

Marriage Status: Never Married (NM)

Kids: NO Kids (NK)

Pets: None

Total # of D8s: 3

SEXual Relations? ALMOST. I wish.

Best SEX Position: (assume) Doggystyle

DICKmatization Rating [1 DICK (low) – 5 DICKs (Max)]:  3 DICKs – such potential. ☹From my preview he probably would have been a DM rating of 4 DICKs. Woulda, coulda, shoulda. DAMN.

Playlist: Take Me Back to Chicago by Chicago, Still by Geto Boys, One of Us by Joan Osborne, Jet Airliner by Steve Miller Band, Hot in Herre by Nelly, Doggy Dogg World by Snoop Dogg (Doggystyle album), Another One Bites the Dust by Queen

ABOUT HIM:

Ok, everyone thinks where they are from is the best, including me O-H-I-O!!! So, this guy I meet on a D8app.com. He’s actually my age and from the Midwest obvi. We have a great first convo via video. He asks me to go to the famous Lou Malnati’s for some deep-dish Chicago style pizza, da best obvi!!! He complains that people just can’t take his sarcastic Midwest sense of humor (which is low-grade mean btw). And he’s sure I’ll understand him because I’m a Midwest girl?!  He talks incessantly about himself on our D8 and how great Chicago is (we live in Phoenix, AZ). I am very gregarious and I’m taking it all in and joking around too. I also think I’m funny!! Well you are reading this…. aren’t I?? He says he has his MBA and has worked in Baseball and for Goldman Sachs. Guess what he does now?! Baggage guy for the Airlines. Says the stress got him and you can’t take airplanes home with you! Overall, it was a lack-luster first D8. I text had a good time blah blah.

11 days pass.

Text from him reads “I’ve decided to leave the D8ing App.”

I’ll bite. Why’s that I ask? He calls. He states they changed the D8app.com product and he was dissatisfied and wanted his money back, which the D8App kindly refunded him. He then asks if I’d like to go to a baseball game with him, Cubs fan of course. We chat a bit more and actually decide to get together the next day and watch the classic “Office Space”. Love when they beat the printer up with a baseball bat to the rap song Still by the Geto Boys!

I had just gotten my hair done and he offered to cook dinner as he was observing Lent and wanted to eat fish (he is of Greek decent and is a Greek Orthodox; this is where the Greek God part comes in (obvi). He said I looked “nice”. First and as you’ll hear, the ONLY “nice” thing he ever said to me. I was my normal gregarious outgoing self, he’s a bit introverted and serious.

We have a nice dinner, and so I ask; why’d it take 11 days for you to contact me again? He said, honestly, he had gone out with some other gals that he thought he liked better than me because I was too “corporate” on our first D8. He said he suffered from corporate Kool-Aid PTSD stress flashbacks! But those other gals either weren’t into him or he didn’t like them. WTF (What the Fuck)? OK.

The rest of the night was ok, he showed me some OLD Johnny Carson bits on YouTube, wow humor has certainly changed in the last 40 years! He definitely has an old-timer vibe about him. He did have a nice clean orderly house though.

He hinted around about SEX several times but ultimately didn’t try anything. I was a little disappointed because I was feeling a little attracted to him. He has to be at the airport at 6am for baggage tossin’ so we decide to end the evening and see each other for the ballgame on Sunday.

APOCOLYPSE NOW.

Corona virus pandemic hits and everything is cancelled, including our ballgame on Sunday. I say hey…why don’t we just plan to do something else?

24 HOURS PASS.

He texts, what’s your schedule like?? I decide not to respond.

2 days L8ter (Later) UPD8 (Update): He called to ask why I didn’t respond. I guess he did want to see me, but since we are supposed to Social Distance ourselves it would have to be at my place or his. Guess it’s my turn to host. So, I invite him over.

Had a bad day at work, doesn’t want to talk about it and NO THANKS he says on my offer to host. WTF???

2 WEEKS PASS, I am now noticing a trend on our D8 schedule.

Honestly, at this point with the sporadic communication and our huge personality differences him: introverted, me: extroverted I really felt we weren’t too into each other. He still calls approximately every 2 weeks though so I am assuming we are strictly in the friend zone.

D8 THREE – APPROX 6 weeks after meeting him, considering 2 week breaks in between D8s.

Me still assuming we are in the friend zone, goes over to his house for a walk in his neighborhood. Very nice neighborhood btw.  He is 6’1 and I am 5’6 so of course his walking way too fast for me so I tell him to slow down; he grabs my hand?! WHAT dude?? I’m telling you; he did not seem like he was the least bit attracted to me really?! I sort of mention this to him on our walk and he says he was “just helping me keep up.” LOL

We get back to his place and decide to hang out on his beautiful backyard porch and talk. He actually helps me up/down out of my Adirondack chair…you know those angle back deeply and can be hard for a short person to get in and out of! Wow I’m loving the gentlemanly assists. I definitely don’t mind being treated like a lady! I’ve been working out recently so I mentioned I was a little sore and was really missing the availability of massages during this pandemic crisis………. he offers to give me a massage.

You can imagine where a massage leads, I’m sure. Soon he was massaging my breasts and we start to make-out on his couch.  Pretty soon we are both completely naked. He is not disappointing in any way. Then he asks me what my fantasy is. Ladies, going forward answer this question 2^nd after he does so you can see where his head is at. So, I say 1^st that I’d like a Ménage Trois with 2 guys and as you read previously enjoy Anal SEX. LITERALLY SHIT. So, the God part, he is a devout Greek Orthodox guy, introverted. So, his seductive whispered fantasy was, “I’d like you to wear a white button-down (corporate) shirt, (corporate) skirt, bra (42C) and no underwear. Then I’m going to take you to the bathroom in front of my full-length mirror turn you around facing the mirror and slowly unbutton your (corporate) shirt and move your bra off your shoulders. Then I’m going to take you from behind and cum inside you.” Uhhh……………. HOT. I thought he’d say 2 girls was his fantasy?!

In full DICKlosure, I had had SEX the night before with the Jockey and had several hickies on my breasts. See “Italian Jockey aka Mr. Pussy” for this story. I did not understand that I was on a 2-week schedule with The GG and that he was even attracted to me until this third D8 six weeks in?!! So, I didn’t expect to get naked with a new guy the very next night! How did I explain these hickies you ask?! I said I ran into something (like someone else’s mouth and teeth LOL). My story was accepted as presented. GG actually checked my bra size (42C) and manufacturer out?! LMAO, I have never had anyone check my bra size out! He said he actually usually asks girls their boob size before D8ing them?! HAAA…he had never asked me this question. If he had asked me, I would have asked him his DICK Size of course. So, I say this and he says he has never measured his DICK?!! NO WAY ALL DUDES DO THIS I’M SURE??!! So, eyeballing it I would say 8”, but he says we can measure for sure next time. LOL.

So, I’m sure you are assuming we had SEX, right? Nope, we actually did not. I honestly couldn’t see doing the deed for a 2^nd night in a row with a different dude before you slut shame me. Frankly, I was surprised this was going down and it was so F’ing good??!!! We continue to talk and make-out. So, he asks me if I have had 2 guys and had anal SEX. I said yes, I’d had Anal SEX (Thank You Pewp DICKens!) and I enjoyed it when done right. So, he said he had never done that and don’t I need to rinse out first?!! LMAO. Sometimes this dude comes off like a bona fide Alter Boy…. maybe I should ask him, could be he was an Alter Boy for the Greek Orthodox church? Next up, he asks me if I like getting eaten out? Uh, YEAH, I say.  He says that he doesn’t usually do this and thinks girls have a scent down there that he doesn’t like. OK. I accept this as I am sure everyone’s vaginal health is different and it can be a complex feminine issue to manage. So, I don’t push this. Of course, he wants ME TO GIVE HIM HEAD.  I have to say this always pisses me off when some guys want you to give them head but they don’t expect to return the favor?! So, I give the head. I guess this motivates him to give me a couple licks. So, he does and comes up for air in a couple mins. I don’t say anything as it seems like it really isn’t something he is into. We continue to make out, then he says he wants me to SIT ON HIS FACE!!!!! HELL YES.  So, I say you don’t have to do that if you really aren’t into it. He says I WANT TO; YOU TASTE GOOD. I am getting really hot with this guy; cannot believe I didn’t have SEX with him.

He was so sweet and asked if he did it right?! Oh God ladies, yes, he did!!! He then grabs me and pulls me on to his lap with both hands on my ass. DAMN girls it is getting’ HOT IN’ HERRE.  OK I am just about to mount this guy for real. It’s getting L8. I try to tame down what is happening so I start to get up. He spins me around, bends me over the couch and grabs my hair and leans into me from behind.

UNBELIEVABLY, we did NOT have SEX. I soon leave, very turned on of course.

So, I am thinking our relationship has now CHANGED from the every 2 weeks friend zone, right?! So, I decide to demonstrate what texting and calling looks like the next week. LACKLUSTER results. So, I’ m like SHIT, maybe he didn’t think that was as HOT as I did? So, I decide to text him and advise how HOT I thought our couch time was and I couldn’t wait to actually do the fantasy he whispered in my ear. SILENCE. I mean shit wouldn’t you answer that?!?!! 2 days later he texts “Happy Easter”, I say U2 and another week of silence ensues.

It’s my birthday during a pandemic. I am blue, feeling isolated and lonely. I had told GG that my Bday was 4/17. I am actually 2 months older than him lol. I didn’t think he’d remember so I was also feeling sad that I wouldn’t get my birthday fantasy fuck in. SAD AF.

I do the whole Zoom Virtual Bday party to see my family so that was nice but of course not the same as interacting with people IRL. Later in the evening surprise text & vmail from GG!!!! I am so F’ing (Fucking) HAPPY that he remembered!!! I call him back the next day so as not to seem to needy and leave a Vmail. NO GOD DAMN RESPONSE. DUDE THIS GUY IS KILLING ME.

Later in the night I actually butt dial him by mistake. OH NO, now he knows I am def thinking about him. He calls me back immediately this time. I explain sorry I butt dialed you but………. HI?!! He says that he is under stress as if you all know many people are losing their jobs and/or being furloughed due to this pandemic. He definitely seems distracted and under some stress. UNDERSTAND.

I say I texted you about the HOT COUCH sesh?! He says he had been under stress and didn’t know how to respond. We started talking SEXy on the phone. It’s getting L8 (Late). He says that his Easter was actually a different D8 (Date) than the other religions and he is going to a midnight online service. Did I want to cum over and watch it with him and then I’m assuming FUCK?! Well, I am tempted but I am thinking GOD & SEX don’t mix and I would definitely be the devil tempting the Alter boy to the dark side. I would like to do a little praying together sometime though; you know the couple that prays together stays together………OHHHH GODDDDDD…………you know what I mean wink wink. I am definitely going to hell.

A couple days pass as is our customary “pause” in between communications. I decide to check in and tell him I enjoyed our conversation and I was thinking about all his work concerns. Just Hey- I’m thinking about you really was the message. Remember earlier when I told you he was low-grade mean Mid-westerner? Well I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised; I rarely am anymore; but his response was: Corporate Desirae Strikes again (smiley face 😉). Ok, totally an out of context response to my nice reach-out and his sex fantasy involves me being CORPORATE?! I start thinking about this response and decide I’m pissed. I start to think about things he had said to me previously. I realized he really has never been complimentary or positive towards me. Not Really. I told you I didn’t think he really liked me from the start. Well, I guess I really was right. Ladies, trust your first instincts and intuition, you are most probably right every time! I decide to write him an actual corporate response. LOL, as you can see ladies I can write, it was a genuine, positive, professional and hilarious text in memo style format. I told him how I felt and that I liked him and could not understand why he wasn’t more complimentary/positive towards me and that he really must honestly not like me if he can’t think of anything nice to say.

For your reading pleasure here is a copy of my corporate memo to the Greek God of Chicagoland.

RE: Corporate Desirae official response

Dearest Greek God from Chicagoland:

I was trying to reach out yesterday and check on you because I like and care about you. Guess that was a corporate response to you. No worries, ask and you shall receive a corporate like response from me! I don’t like to disappoint people or make them wait for what they are asking for, give the people what they want!! I know you either won’t respond to this or your response will be delayed or off topic. By the way, your Read Receipts are on so I can tell you do read my messages.

I think so many positive things about you. You are strong, smart, sexy and probably good in bed! You have a beautiful home; which I am sure you have worked hard to get. I am sure there are many more positive things about you. Interestingly, outside the compliment on my hair I have never heard you say one nice thing to me. I have heard you “jokingly” insult me though. Your “corporate” comment is one such example. By the way, why isn’t that a compliment? Women are allowed to be strong, smart and HELL YES confident these days! I have had men say that they found me to be DAMN SEXY for those very reasons before!

I know we have different personalities, so I guess I thought you just had to get to know me and you’d warm up and tell me how much you like me. Well, you’ve had some time to get to know me now and I guess you honestly don’t like me and can’t think of anything positive to say to me. I’d be waiting for a day that you said nice things to me that would most likely never come.

Well, I know that I’m not for everyone; and I don’t expect everyone to like me. I was hoping YOU would like me. It’s been almost two months since we met. I’m sure that would give anyone enough time to think of something nice to say if they liked you, I guess. I’ve met men that complimented me on day 1! WOW!! I KNOW, UNBELIVABLE RIGHT??!!!

Us ladies try to feel you guys out and mirror the vibe you give us. I am generally positive and complimentary. Too bad. I’m sure you will find a girl you actually like one day. Please do be nice to her and tell her how much you like her when you do! 

Since you can’t compliment me, I’ll do it myself.  #positivestrongsmartsexyconfidentcorporatefunnycaringgoodwoman.

 I really don’t expect a response, not that you’d give me one. Good luck Greek God from Chicagoland, I hope all will be will with you and you do find the kind of girl you are looking for.

Final Corporate thoughts: PowerPoint (PPT) version of this communication available upon request. I think you said some kind of snarky comment about PPTs on our first date to me.  LMAO.

Suggested corporate follow-up reading:

1. 7 Reasons Why You Should Pay a Compliment to Someone Every Day: https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/7-reasons-why-you-should-pay-compliment-someone-every-day.html
2. COMPLIMENTS FOR YOUR WOMAN: HOW IMPORTANT IS IT? https://sparkitnetwork.com/lifestyle/compliments-woman-important/

Of course, there’s an F’ing Read Receipt and he doesn’t respond to me. I guess he did listen to his mama when she said, “if you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all!”

Well, if I had some kinda superpower everyone it would be to make men do and say what I would like them to do and say. Unfortunately, I do not have any superpowers………. aaaaannnddd another one bites the dust…. duhnt duhnt duhnt…can you hear the Queen song??!!!

DIsCKussion Questions:

1. Should you compliment your D8 and/or your current partner?
2. Should you tell someone you like them if you do? When?
3. Is it ok to have big delays in communication and/or not respond to the specific question or topic at hand?
4. Is it truly funny when the comment is meant negatively/passive aggressively? HAHA you suck JK LOL!! (told as a joke but the negative vibe is what is meant).
5. If a man says to you that you are too confident and businesslike, why isn’t this a compliment for a woman?? Would you ever tell a man he was too confident or business like?? (that’d be a compliment for a man, right?!)
6. Should you have SEX with a totally different guy the next night after having SEX with someone totally different the day before? Have you ever done that?
7. What are your thoughts on someone who doesn’t want to go down on you, but definitely expects you will go down on him?
8. What do you think about having partners that aren’t as SEXually adventurous as you, i.e. don’t want to try anal SEX? What did you do?
9. Ladies only – let’s talk VJJ health. How do you deal with yeast and bacterial infections? Do you get them? Any tried and true tactics to handle “CU Next Tuesday” ladies health in general? i.e. My mom always said your panties must ALWAYS be 100% COTTON!